The Power of Asking in Horsemanship
The Power of Asking in Horsemanship: Building Trust, Patience, and Effective Communication
Hey horse lovers! đ´
Letâs talk about something super important today that could seriously transform your relationship with your horse: The Power of Asking. If youâve ever spent time around horses, you know theyâre incredible, sensitive animals. But hereâs a secret: the way we ask them to do things can make all the difference in how they respond.
In horsemanship, we often talk about asking rather than demanding. And trust me, itâs not just a fancy way of saying "be nice to your horse." Itâs about building a real partnership with your equine friend based on mutual trust, respect, and communication.
1. Asking vs. Demanding: Why It Matters
So, why should we ask and not demand? Itâs simple: when you ask, youâre giving your horse the chance to respond willingly, not out of fear or frustration. Think of it this wayâwould you rather work with someone who asks politely or someone who just barks orders at you? Horses feel the same way!
When you ask your horse to do something, like move forward, stop, or pick up a trot, youâre inviting them to respond. This allows them to think through the request and respond in a way that makes them feel safe and understood. And when a horse feels understood, theyâre far more likely to trust youâand letâs be real, trust is EVERYTHING in horsemanship.
2. Building Trust Through Positive Reinforcement
Hereâs the cool part: asking opens the door to using positive reinforcement. Instead of forcing your horse to do something, youâre rewarding them when they get it right. This could be a pat on the neck, a soft word of praise, or even a treat (we all know how much horses love their snacks đ).
Positive reinforcement creates an environment where your horse is motivated to please you because they know theyâll be rewarded for their effort. Itâs like training with a smile instead of a scowl! Your horse will start to associate your cues with good things, making them more eager to work with you.
3. Encouraging Problem-Solving in Your Horse
Now, letâs talk about something that doesnât get enough attention: horses are smart! đ§ When you ask rather than demand, you give your horse the chance to engage their brain. They get to think about the cue you gave and figure out how to respond. Itâs like youâre giving them a little puzzle to solve. And guess what? Horses love this kind of mental stimulation!
When a horse is allowed to think for themselves, they become more confident and willing to try new things. Theyâre no longer just reactingâtheyâre participating in the experience. It makes your time together more enriching for both of you.
4. Staying Safe: Why Cooperation Beats Compliance
One of the biggest benefits of asking instead of demanding is that it keeps both you and your horse safe. Horses are powerful animals, and if they feel pressured or forced into something, they can react unpredictably. Thatâs not a situation anyone wants to be in!
By asking your horse for cooperation rather than compliance, you reduce the risk of creating a tense or confrontational situation. When a horse feels like they have a say in the matter, theyâre much less likely to resist or act out. So really, asking is not just kinderâitâs smarter.
5. Patience Is the Magic Ingredient
I get itâpatience can be hard sometimes. We all want things to happen right now, but when it comes to working with horses, patience is key. Horses need time to process what weâre asking. Theyâre not machines that respond instantly; they need a moment to think it through.
Being patient means giving your horse time to understand and respond to your cue without rushing them. If you push too hard for an immediate answer, your horse might get confused or stressed, and thatâs when things can go sideways. By being patient, you create a calm, positive learning environment where your horse feels safe and supported.
6. Every Horse Is Different
One of the coolest things about working with horses is realizing how different they all are. Some horses are quick to catch on and respond to cues right away, while others might need a little more time to figure things outâand thatâs okay! đ´â¤ď¸
Patience and consistency are your best friends here. Itâs all about understanding that each horse has its own personality, learning speed, and comfort level. When you give your horse the space to learn at their own pace, youâll build a deeper connection thatâs based on trust and understanding.
Want to Learn More?
If youâre curious to dive deeper into the concept of asking vs. demanding in horsemanship, here are a few great resources you can check out:
Warwick Schiller - A horse trainer who focuses heavily on the mental and emotional aspects of training horses, Warwick shares a lot of helpful insights on his YouTube channel, The Journey On podcast and website: WarwickSchiller.com
Lockie Phillips - Lockie Phillips is an Australian horse trainer and the creator of Emotional Horsemanship, a method focused on helping horses and humans understand and manage emotions during training. While often viewed as a riderâs issue, Lockie emphasizes that horses have emotions too and that asking them to engage willingly requires emotional balance on both sides. She highlights the importance of clear communication, patience, and empathy, all of which align with the idea of asking over demanding. Lockieâs work helps riders connect with their horses on a deeper emotional level, promoting trust and safety in every interaction.
Learn more: EmotionalHorsemanship.comLucy Klaasen - Lucy Klaasen is the founder of Intrinsic Energetics and is known for her work in emotional resilience and energetic communication with horses. Her approach revolves around the energetic connection between horses and humans, encouraging riders to be more mindful of their own emotions and energy when interacting with horses. Lucy teaches that horses respond better to asking when the handlerâs energy is aligned and respectful of the horseâs space and state of mind. This philosophy aligns perfectly with the idea of giving the horse a choice, thereby deepening the horseâs willingness to cooperate naturally.
Learn more: IntrinsicEnergetics.com
These inspiring humans join a long list of horse trainers and advocates who prioritize kindness, patience, and respect in their work. Their philosophies offer a refreshing take on traditional horsemanship by emphasizing emotional awareness, communication, and asking for a horseâs cooperation rather than demanding it.
Each of them brings something unique to the table, yet they all share the belief that building a genuine, trust-based partnership with horses leads to more successful and fulfilling outcomes.
If youâre curious about diving into the details of their work, Iâd highly recommend checking out their websites, books, and videosâtheyâve got a wealth of wisdom to share!
Going DeeperâŚ
Beyond Asking: Proposing and Being Ready for a "No"
Letâs take the idea of asking a step further and talk about proposing. Just like in any healthy relationshipâwhether it's with a partner, friend, or family memberâsometimes you suggest something, and the other person might say "no," and thatâs totally okay! The same goes for your horse. When you propose something, youâre inviting your horse into a dialogue, giving them the freedom to accept or decline based on how they feel.
Think of it like planning a trip with a friend or your partner. You might say, "Hey, how about going to the mountains this weekend?" But if they prefer the beach, you have a conversation and come to a decision together. Itâs a give-and-take process, and no oneâs feelings are hurt if the first idea isnât the final plan. Itâs about collaborating, not controlling.
When you propose something to your horseâlike a new route, a more challenging task, or even a certain paceâthereâs a chance they might not want to do it. Maybe theyâre feeling tired, unsure, or just not in the mood, and thatâs okay. By being open to their "no," you show them respect and reinforce the idea that youâre in this partnership together. This approach creates a level playing field where both you and your horse decide on the plan, leading to a relationship built on mutual understanding and cooperation.
Not every day will be about pushing boundaries, and sometimes the most rewarding rides come from letting your horse express their needs too. When you view your interactions as proposing rather than just asking, youâre ready to adapt and listen, which deepens the trust and makes both of you happier in the long run.
So next time youâre working with your horse, whether youâre in the saddle or on the ground, remember: ask with kindness, wait with patience, and reward with love. Your horse will thank you for it!
Happy riding, everyone! đđ
Bookshelve:
Understanding Your Horses Emotion by Larry Bensusan
How Horses Feel And Think by Marlitt Wendt
Trust Instead Of Dominance by Marlitt Wendt
